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![]() Neutralize 10 Crepe Gangsters in a single run. While this has led to a moderate improvement in fire control effectiveness, it has caused Firefighter morale to plummet, what with the all the unwanted mutilation and such. ![]() Despite this, the Cop became disenchanted with the current government after a law was passed preventing more than four people from dancing side by side, sadly forcing the Cop's Village People cover group to disband.įire hoses are pretty effective, but they're so big and unwieldy! So, what's a more efficient solution? According to the Mayor: chop off the arms of Firefighters and install state-of-the-art Water Cannons on the nub. While their jokes can be polarizing at times, the comedian lives to be loved, and won't be happy until everyone laughs DAMMIT!īribe 3 Cops (can be done over multiple runs).įollows the Law of the Land unflinchingly, even if it doesn't always make perfect sense. Whether expounding on the differences between races or lamenting a recent online date gone hi-lariously bad, the Comedian has no shortage of worldview-expanding and totally non-hacky material. Kill anyone (including yourself) with a banana peel. Fun fact: Human meat is apparently very sweet tasting The Cannibal finds it morally unjustifiable to eat animal meat, but it's just so tasty! There is only so much tofu one can take before they snap. The result of inbreeding, toxic sludge, and internet videos of animals being kept in tiny cramped spaces before being turned into fast food. Fun fact, the Bartender also serves alcohol. Blah blah blah! But the bartender remains understanding and discrete to their core. Hey, a job's a job! When the Assassin heard about the growing unrest against the mayor, a murderous spirit within was renewed!ĭrink 10 alcoholic beverages in a single game.Įveryone loves the friendly Bartender! One of the few people willing to listen to you drone on about how your job is crap, the opposite sex doesn't like you, and you're thinking of 'ending it all in a rain of gunfire and carnage'. One day dreamed of assassinating a president or military leader, but has so far had to settle for rich old ladies and the occasional rich feline heir. Stealthily moves through the shadows and murders people from behind. See the Unlock column in the table below for details regarding each character's unlock requirements.Ĭlear a level without killing anyone and without alerting anyone. These characters must be unlocked by completing specific tasks before they can be played. Will the Thief ever conquer their imposter syndrome? This was done out of tremendous insecurities - they thought it would make them feel like more of a professional criminal. Actually dresses in stereotypical burglar garb. Pretty much the worst thief who has ever lived. Rather than sitting around twiddling their thumbs, the soldier will now have the opportunity to fight the good fight - and maybe even commit a few atrocities in the process! Hoo-ah!!! So why not create one? That's where the Resistance comes in. Unfortunately there are no wars going on right now. The Soldier aspires to fight for the city. A true personification of the American Dream! This typically involves beating up random people for their cash, and scouring trash barrels for bacon cheeseburgers. Starting from nothing, the humble Slum Dweller is willing to rise up and do whatever it takes to make it in this crazy world. Also no-brainers: Cheetos and not showering.Stereotypes. What Hacker worth their weight in salt doesn't want to take down the system? Joining the Resistance was a no-brainer for this societal outcast. Has ambitions of hacking the planet, but will realistically settle for your parents' webcam. The Gangster probably needs to have their vision checked. Actually, it wasn't a Blahd, it was just a crazed naked man driven insane from a nasty sunburn. Joined the Crepes after witnessing their father being murdered at the hands of a Blahd. Despite the extra cash flow, the Doctor would rather the streets be safe, and has decided to join the Resistance. But business is currently booming, what with all the beating being administered by Cops since the Mayor's new "Law of the Land" was put in place. ![]() Indeed, the Doctor is very skilled at 'pacifying' people. One of the few true pacifists in this dangerous world. 4 Playable Characters (Super Special Abilities).3 Playable Characters (Character Pack DLC). ![]() ![]() But, if you want to see the extended hardcore versions of the show and vote for your favourite star, you will have to become a member of Brazzers. Pretty good lineup and best of all, you can view the full episodes of the show for FREE at. ![]() Team Lee consists of Tory Lane, Phoenix Marie, Ava Addams, Missy Martinez and Romi Rain. Team Benz includes Alektra Blue, Dani Daniels, Gianna Nicole, Kayla Kayden and Kaylani Lei. Full Bosomed Sex Goddess Romi Rain Impaling On A Massive Black Dong. Milf Romi Rain Has Sex With A Massage Therapist And Gets Cum On Her Tits. Tattooed Romi Rain Taking Long Dick Deep Into Her Shaved Meaty Pussy And Ass. Latest Most Viewed Top Rated Longest Most Commented Most Favourited Eating the hot teacher - Romi rain. Inked Barbie Romi Rain In Red Skirts Exposes Her Pussy And Gets Railed. The show is hosted by Nikki Benz and Keiran Lee, who will try and lead their respective teams to victory. Romi rain wicked pictures Porn Videos XXX Movies. Brazzers recently launched a porno reality series called Brazzers House which is basically a naughty version of Big Brother! It features ten of the world’s best porn stars battling it out for $10,000 in a variety of sexy challenges, and YOU get to decide the winner! ![]() ![]() However, the differences between even Aquamacs and traditional Mac interface design may confuse longtime Mac users. With many Mac switchers coming from the Linux world (where Emacs use is probably highest) the release of Aquamacs will no doubt be welcomed by some. When you double-click a file written in Aquamacs, it'll open in Aquamacs (thanks to Creator meta-information in files). In my personal opinion however, Emacs (with the help of the preview-latex and flyspell extensions) is one of the most advanced LaTeX. For example, there is a âShow (file) in Finderâ function, or another one to open new files in one of many popular modes. Most old-school Mac users would never think of using something for their LaTeX editing needs that brings up so many images of command-line hacking as Emacs does. A number of little extensions specific to the Mac are contained - they're small details that make your life easier.Clipboard operations interoperate with other Mac apps.This worked for me (Aquamacs yasnippet installed in /.emacs. This is configurable with a mouse-click - of course, You can switch between the windows (frames) with the âBuffersâ menu. tex file and do YASnippet -> Reload everything then just type in enuma and hit you can switch through the -places via hits.Finally, Aquamacs Emacs makes use of the capabilities of windows on modern graphical user interfaces. It is heavily modified to look and feel like a native OS X application. It inevitably lags behind GNU Emacs trunk, however. Itâs regularly synched with Emacs upstream, though, and closely follows Emacs releases. Unlike all of the above, itâs not based on GNU Emacs, but has an independent source tree. Aquamacs Emacs can open a normal OS X window for each file that is opened - Emacs experts call such windows frames. Aquamacs is a heavily patched fork of GNU Emacs.Aquamacs Emacs implements the standard OS X keyboard shortcuts and. Aquamacs Emacs has a standard Mac menu with entries where you would expect them, and recently used files are available from the File menu. The original GNU version of Emacs for the Mac, called Carbon Emacs, is no different.Fonts just work, right from the menu: The Mac-standard font (Lucida Grande) is the default for editing text, and the mono-spaced Monaco is used to other modes. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Sony must have a pretty big surprise for E3 if they’re already dropping this announcement two months before the expo… Check out the official teaser trailer below. All cutscenes and dialogues with the only necessary. However, while Kratos is back, the latest PlayStation 3 exclusive God of War: Ascension will be taking place before the events of the first God of War and most likely also before Chains of Olympus. GOD OF WAR: ASCENSION All Cutscenes (Game Movie) 1080p HD Gamer's Little Playground 2.53M subscribers Join Subscribe 14K Share Save 1.7M views 7 years ago ascension gamemovie godofwar. God of War: Ascension è un videogioco per PlayStation 3, sviluppato da SCE Santa Monica Studio e pubblicato da Sony Computer Entertainment. GOD OF WAR ASCENSION - Game Movie 2021 All Cutscenes + Gameplay 60fps, 1080p - YouTube God of War Ascension movie walkthrough. ![]() Today, fans of the epic series will be happy to know that they were right as it turns out the teaser was in fact for Kratos’ comeback, and we will be getting yet another God of War. Recuerda suscribirte para más de God of War :3God of War: Ascension es la séptima entrega de la saga de videojuegos God of War, la cual fue lanzada para Play. Thankfully, this time the tease wasn’t dragged out anywhere near as long and is redeeming the previous underwhelming reveal. God of War Ascension All Cutscenes / Cinematics Movie Walkthrough God of war Kratos Movie HD Part 1 all cutscenes HD MOVIE Every cutscene in order god of. Last time there was a God of War teaser most were let down with the announcement that it would be a PSP game. Fitting, given that God of War: Ascension-the latest project from Sony Computer Entertainment Worldwide Studio's (SCE WWS) Santa Monica Studio-is an exploration into the beginnings of Kratos, one of gaming's most iconic characters.After Sony teased gamers all week by posting a mysterious image on the official PlayStation website and Facebook page asking “Will vengeance bring redemption?,” many were left wondering if it could be for the inevitable God of War 4. Of course, you don't have to wait until Sunday because Sony has already released the full two minute and nine second trailer online, which we've embedded below.Īccording to Sony, "Produced by Imaginary Forces and set to a haunting arrangement of Ellie Goulding's "Hanging On" (from her recent album Halcyon), the ad represents one of the most ambitious promotions in PlayStation history. By streaming the ad online, Sony is able to show a much longer trailer than the thirty seconds it likely would have been if it was airing on TV during the Super Bowl. God of War: Ascension 114 - It was a nice and fun playthrough until the Trials of Archimedes decided to piss on my day. ![]() No, instead God Of War: Ascension Super Bowl trailer will be shown during the online stream for the 2013 Super Bowl on. Now, before everyone gets excited and thinks Sony made a last minute Super Bowl advertising buy that might also include some of their upcoming movies, we should point out that the God Of War: Ascension Super Bowl trailer won't actually be airing on CBS television during the big game. The youngest of King Triton’s daughters and the most defiant, Ariel longs to find out more about the world beyond the sea and, while visiting the surface, falls for the dashing Prince Eric. Sony has released a 2013 Super Bowl trailer for their upcoming game God of War: Ascension. ![]() ![]() S3://aws-logs-111111111111-us-east-1/elasticmapreduce/j-35PUYZBQVIJNM/steps/s-2M809TD67U2IA/stderr.gzįor more information, see View log files archived to Amazon S3.ĭownload the step logs to an Amazon Elastic Compute Cloud (Amazon EC2) instance and then search for warnings and errors:ġ. The file path looks similar to the following: When you submit a Spark application using an Amazon EMR step, the driver logs are archived to the stderr.gz file on Amazon Simple Storage Service (Amazon S3). To capture the logs, save the output of the spark-submit command to a file. Amazon EMR doesn't archive these logs by default. When you submit a Spark application by running spark-submit with -deploy-mode client on the master node, the driver logs are displayed in the terminal window. ![]() The application master is the first container that runs when the Spark job runs. Cluster mode: The Spark driver runs in the application master. ![]() In client mode, the Spark driver runs on the host where the spark-submit command is run. Client mode: This is the default deployment mode.Namespaces"."created_at" DESC, "namespaces"."id" DESC LIMIT 1 ]ĬACHE (0.0ms) SELECT "members".* FROM "members" WHERE "members"."source_type" = 'Project' AND "members"."type" IN ('ProjectMember') AND "members"."source_id" = $1 AND "members".On Amazon EMR, Spark runs as a YARN application and supports two deployment modes: Line breaks were added to examples for legibility: Requests from the API are logged to a separate file in api_json.log.Įach line contains JSON that can be ingested by services like Elasticsearch and Splunk. It contains a structured log for Rails controller requests received from Installations from source: /home/git/gitlab/log/production_json.log.Omnibus GitLab: /var/log/gitlab/gitlab-rails/production_json.log.Log type Managed by logrotate Managed by svlogd/runit Alertmanager logs No Yes crond logs No Yes Gitaly Yes Yes GitLab Exporter for Omnibus No Yes GitLab Pages logs Yes Yes GitLab Rails Yes No GitLab Shell logs Yes No Grafana logs No Yes LogRotate logs No Yes Mailroom Yes Yes NGINX Yes Yes PgBouncer logs No Yes PostgreSQL logs No Yes Praefect logs Yes Yes Prometheus logs No Yes Puma Yes Yes Redis logs No Yes Registry logs No Yes Workhorse logs Yes Yes production_json.logĭepending on your installation method, this file is located at: The logrotate service built into GitLabĮxcept those captured by runit. The following table includes information about what’s responsible for managing and rotating logs forĪre written to a file called current. svlogd ( runit’s service logging daemon).The logs for a given service may be managed and rotated by: For example: Service Log level Environment variable GitLab API INFO GitLab Cleanup INFO DEBUG GitLab Doctor INFO VERBOSE GitLab Export INFO EXPORT_DEBUG GitLab Geo INFO GitLab Import INFO IMPORT_DEBUG GitLab QA Runtime INFO QA_LOG_LEVEL Google APIs INFO Rack Timeout ERROR Sidekiq (server) INFO Snowplow Tracker FATAL gRPC Client (Gitaly) WARN GRPC_LOG_LEVEL Log Rotation Some of these services have their own environment variables to override the log level. Valid values are either a value of 0 to 5, or the name of the log level.įor some services, other log levels are in place that are not affected by this setting. You can override the minimum log level for GitLab loggers using the GITLAB_LOG_LEVEL environment variable. GitLab loggers emit all log messages because they are set to DEBUG by default. The following log levels are supported: Level Name 0 DEBUG 1 INFO 2 WARN 3 ERROR 4 FATAL 5 UNKNOWN Log LevelsĮach log message has an assigned log level that indicates its importance and verbosity.Įach logger has an assigned minimum log level.Ī logger emits a log message only if its log level is equal to or above the minimum log level. Switching logs from JSON to plain text logging, and more. Including adjusting log retention, log forwarding, Customize logging on Omnibus GitLab installations.Read more about the log system and using the logs: This guide talks about how to read and use these system log files. ![]() System log files are typically plain text in a standard log file format. The log system is similar to audit events. GitLab has an advanced log system where everything is logged, so you can analyze your instance using various system logįiles. Find relevant log entries with a correlation ID Log system.sidekiq_exporter.log and web_exporter.log. ![]() ![]() ![]() The Associates - White Car in Germany Party Fears Two Louis Armstrong - Basin Street Blues Do You Know What It Means to Miss New OrleansĪsian Dub Foundation - Naxalite Memory War ![]() The Animals - The House of the Rising Sun We've Gotta Get Out of This Place Gonna Send You Back to WalkerĪnother Sunny Day - I'm in Love With a Girl Who Doesn't Know I ExistĪntony & the Johnsons - Hope There's SomeoneĪphex Twin - Come To Daddy Goon Gumpas DidgeridooĪrcade Fire - Wake Up Neighbourhood #1 (Tunnels)Īrctic Monkeys - Who the Fuck Are Arctic Monkeys? Riot Van From the Ritz to the Rubble The Adverts - Gary Gilmore's Eyes Bored TeenagersĪge of Chance - Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Noise?Īir - Kelly Watch the Stars (Remix Par Moog Cookbook) Playground Love Electronic Performers Alone In KyotoĪlabama 3 - Woke Up This Morning (Chosen One Mix) Aber genau das ist ja auch das Schöne an so bescheuerten Listen.10,000 Maniacs - Eat for Two Planned Obsolescence Like the Weatherġ3th Floor Elevators - You're Gonna Miss MeĪ Tribe Called Quest - I Left My Wallet in El SegundoĪBBA - When All Is Said and Done The Visitors (Crackin' Up) The Day Before You CameĪBC - How to Be a Millionaire All of My HeartĪC/DC - You Shook Me All Night Long Hell's Bells Ich habe beim Aussieben versucht, nicht zu viele Titel von einer Band zu nehmen, überhaupt gab es da viele schlaflose Nächte und tragische Fifty/Fifty-Entscheidungen. Mit Blick auf den Artikel über weibliches Schreiben könnte man es natürlich auch kurz und böse machen: New Wave = größtenteils ein Haufen unglücklicher Typen mit Gitarren, Drums und Synthies … Aber die Musik und Bands waren gut, und bei der zweiten Playlist mit 80s Pop Hits wird das Verhältnis zumindest etwas anders aussehen.ĭas Schwierigste war jedenfalls, sich auf hier nur 250 Songs zu beschränken. Denn je mehr New Wave man hört, desto mehr ist dieses Genre auch schlicht Gefühlssache. *Bei der Eingrenzung habe ich versucht, nicht nur dem musikwissenschaftlichen Begriff zu folgen. Vor allem aber ist dieses Buch ein so außergewöhnliches Lesevergnügen, dass es in diesen Zeiten einfach nicht untergehen darf. Die Hauptfigur ist ebenfalls ein Teenager, allerdings ist der Schauplatz hier nicht ein Kaff im Mittleren Westen – sondern ein großartig eingefangenes München, das es so nicht mehr gibt. Wie bei meinem nächsten Roman ist es eine Coming-of-Age-Geschichte aus dem Sommer 1985. Die vorerst letzte Empfehlung ist Die 12 Leidensstationen nach Pasing von Stefan Wimmer. Neben der oben erwähnten auch eine mit Pop Hits, die ich irgendwann in den nächsten Monaten posten werde.ĭas andere, was ich beim Prokrastinieren der letzten Wochen zumindest versucht habe, war, fast täglich einen Roman zu empfehlen. Am Ende hatte ich über tausend Titel gesammelt, aus denen ich nun zwei Playlists gemacht habe. Manchmal hatte ich dabei das Gefühl, insgeheim an einer Doktorarbeit über diese Musikdekade zu sitzen. Ich sitze inzwischen seit vier, fünf Jahren daran und hörte die meiste Zeit wie besessen Eighties, um mich besser in diese Zeit einzufühlen. Schuld an diesem nerdigen Unterfangen ist übrigens der nächste Roman, der 1985 in Missouri spielt. ![]() So no new stories so far, but maybe it helps some people to distract themselves in these times. But like probably many I ended up doing nothing or weird stuff like creating … well, a playlist with 250 beloved New Wave Songs from the 1980s*. During the last weeks in quarantine I had the plan to finally work on some short stories (next to the new novel). ![]() ![]() ![]() It is data-centric, completely separating storage devices from servers and centralizing data management to free up bandwidth, improve performance, reduce total cost of ownership and protect investments. MEGA is known for its large 20 GB storage space allocated for free accounts, so many users choose to store data on MEGA accounts. The MEGA mobile app is also available for Android and iOS. The service is primarily provided through web-based applications. MEGA or Mega.nz is a cloud storage and file hosting service provided by Mega Limited, a company based in Auckland, New Zealand. I also successfully logged into my super account, but every sync ends up with "failed to sync folder: not found"."Ĭan Easily and Directly Perform Synology MEGA Sync? ![]() This has happened many times, is there any solution? "Ĭase 3: "I've read all the user guides and various articles based on google searches and still can't figure this out, can you help me? I installed MEGAcmd on Synology and connected to my Synology NAS via Windows Powershell SSH. For unknown reasons, MEGA is not syncing data, but all folders are marked green. "Ĭase 2: "I have backup data on Synology DS115j, MEGAsync 3.6 will sync all data in the cloud. The only thing I can find is to use a terminal (I'm not familiar with that program). Now that I have a paid membership to Mega.nz, I would like to know a way to directly download/sync my large folders with my NAS. Try Google Drive for an easier way to edit your files.Case 1: "I have a DS1817 + 8GB and I often use Download Station to download files from some sources. It offers complete privacy and unique features but is let down by its lack of collaboration support. MegaSync easily outranks other cloud-based storage services. MegaSync is available to download on Windows desktop only. This can be a crucial feature for those that work remotely, and want to work on projects together. The software doesn’t enable you to work and edit in real-time with colleagues. MegaSync is let down by its lack of collaborative features, however. Again, all conversations are protected with end-to-end encryption for maximum security. ![]() This is a unique feature that enriches your file sharing experience. Storing your important files is quite simple and secure.Ĭhat with contacts that you’ve added to your contact list within the app. Drag and drop files into the program when using the desktop version. The program enables you to choose individual files and folders, or share everything on your device. MegaSync uses TLS protocol to completely encrypt files in transit from one device to another. Send files to colleagues or friends with little hesitation. Their two-factor authentication ensures your credentials and other sensitive information are kept safe. They use end-to-end encryption to keep chats safely away from prying eyes. This means that the company doesn’t see anything that you pass through its platform. Keep your data completely private with MegaSync’s zero-knowledge encryption. Upload your documents, pictures, and videos to MegaSync and enjoy the free 15GB of storage that comes with it. ![]() ![]() Pull up a loop and pull both strands through. Fold in half and pull through the middle on the back of the santa hat pom. Weave in and out on the white brim of the hat to secure and fasten off.Ĭut a 16″ piece of twine/yarn/ribbon. Sew hat onto the top of the head at row 2 with the long tail you made at the beginning of the hat. Fasten off leaving a long tail to secure the pom to the top of the hat. Yarn over and pull through all loops on the hook. Pom:Ĭh 3, yarn over and insert hk in the 3rd ch from the hk and pull up a loop, yarn over and insert hook in same ch and pull up another loop, yarn over and insert hook one more time in same ch and pull up another loop. Switch to white yarn and continue with the pom. Row 9: *Sc2tog 3 times, sc in last st (4). Row 7: *Sc2tog, sc,* repeat from * around, ending with a sc in the last 2 sts (7) Row 5: *Sc2tog, sc,* repeat from *around (10). Row 2: Switch to red color, sc in each st around (15). Leave a long tail that you will later use to sew onto head. Tuck all your ends inside the beak and sew onto head. ![]() Fasten off leaving a long tail to sew onto head. Row 3: Switch to pink color, sc in each st around (6). ![]() Sew in and out to secure the bottom and fasten off. Tuck in your end and add stuffing***įasten off leaving a long tail. Place the eyes in-between the 3rd and 4th rows and fasten them. Row 7: *Sc2tog, sc,* repeat from * around (16). Row 3: *2 sc, sc,* repeat from * around (24). flamingo christmas ornaments All Auction Buy It Now 1,265 Results Color Theme Condition Price Buying Format All Filters Flamingo Wrapped in Lights 6. ***continue to work in the round, place stitch marker here*** – Medium worsted weight yarn in pink, white, black and red If you would like to purchase the ad free PDF download version of this pattern you can do so in my Etsy shop HERE. Add the googly eyes, and spread open the bottom part of the neck pieces and glue them to the ornament right on or very close to the hanger on the ornament.Ĩ.Create this cute crochet flamingo Christmas ornament! Cute for your tree and and a great gift for any flamingo lover! Enjoy the pattern and happy Holidays! The finished ornament measures 3″ wide (not including beak) and 5″ tall (including hat). Again remember to paint them if you need to. Glue them together but only as far as the top of the neck. Once you find a good head shape, cut out two of these pieces. For the neck and head of the flamingo I would suggest drawing the shape on a piece of paper before you cut it out from the foam piece (it took me a few tries to get it right even on the paper!). If you need to, remember to paint the pieces before gluing them above the hula skirt.ħ. With the pink foam, cut out two "hearts" with three lobes for the wings of the flamingo. Glue them to the bottom half of the ornament and onto any part of the hula skirt that touches the top of the leg.Ħ. Funky and Fun, these adorable birds will. Add a tropical flair to your holiday with these cute ornaments. You can mark little lines on the legs if you would like to give them some detail. Pink Flamingo Christmas Ornaments Home Decor. ![]() Cut out legs from the orange foam sheets. Put little dots of glue on the inside of the green ribbon hula skirt and stick it to the now pink ornament.ĥ. Next cut out one inch pieces of the green ribbon and glue them with the hot glue gun onto the back of the piece of longer ribbon you cut out in step 2. Cut out enough green ribbon to wrap around the entire ornament and have about 1/4 inch to spare.ģ. Paint the clear ornament with the fuchsia paint and let it dry completely.Ģ. When I tried putting the glue directly from the glue gun onto the ornament it caused for some melting plastic/ shape changing to the ornament. Hot glue gun or Elmers (Be careful with this, I would recommend putting the glue on the foam and then sticking the foam to the ornament. Fuchsia and Black acrylic paint and a paint brush and a plastic cup with water in it Clear plastic ornaments (I got mine on sale at a craft store for about 50 cents each) Foam sheets (1 8.5inx11in) preferably pink and orange, other colors are fine as long as you have some paint to make them whatever color you want! I found a pack of smaller foam sheets at the dollar store. Please post any pictures if you end up making your own ornaments! I'd love to see them! :) Materials: Luxe Glass Clip Pink Flamingo- Christmas Ornament This collection is hand crafted in Europe, Poland and Germany to be exact. However, if they look too fancy then nobody will know that they are home made!īelow are the materials list and directions on how to make a hula skirt wearing flamingo Christmas ornament! Looking back at our ornaments, the best ones are homemade ones, or the ones with a story. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() As God is my witness, I didn’t know Canada geese could fly.Īctually, he couldn’t fly much. The goose charged me, with no obvious intention of stopping, and as Michelle dashed in the front door, yelling a hurried “thank you,” the goose went airborne in my direction. So I walked a few steps further, closer to where the nest was, and this was like waving the red flag in front of the bull. ![]() But after two aggressive steps toward me, he stopped and returned to blocking Michelle’s path. I walked past Michelle toward the goose, diverting his angry attention, and headed off the sidewalk onto the lawn, hoping he’d follow me and allow Michelle to pass. When Michelle froze in fear, I parked the car, grabbed my coffee mug for some unknown reason and headed off on a recon mission. The goose angrily approached Michelle, honking abrasively with each step. When I dropped Michelle off for work Monday morning, I sat in my car and watched to see if she got inside without incident. camp, hissing and honking aggressively at any employee with the audacity to show up for her shift. Now the male goose patrols the front of the building’s entrance, goose-stepping like a Nazi guard at a P.O.W. As a gesture of thankfulness, the geese laid their eggs in the shrubbery near the front door. Needless to say, one of Michelle’s co-workers, a well-meaning chucklehead, fed the geese. Once geese lose their fear of humans, they begin nesting closer to office buildings and public parks,” reads the advice from one website. The normal nesting ground for the geese has been disrupted by construction work, so the geese have set up an alternative site - right in front of Michelle’s building. Now they’ve turned themselves into terrorists at my daughter Michelle’s workplace, which is a converted two-story house where the administrative work is done for the nursing home and physical therapy site on the grounds. They frequently stalled traffic in the driveway and parking lots by strutting with arrogance, as if they were being trailed by an ambulance-chasing lawyer just waiting for you to hit one. They left so much fecal matter on the sidewalk that you had to walk carefully to avoid it, and if you had an aversion to stepping on cracks in order to avoid breaking your mama’s back, you might as well have called in sick. They made themselves a nuisance at my employer for years. Their bodies are big, round and awkward their thin necks remind me of bendable straws their ugly heads are so tiny that their brains only have room for three thoughts: eat, poop, sleep (if there’s a fourth thought, it’s another “poop”). Their squawking is the avian equivalent of nails on a blackboard. They are the vermin of the bird world, unless they’re the bird of the vermin world. I have a nephew who owned an iguana, which elicited from me a three-word response, the first two words of which were “what” and “the.” Years ago, I witnessed an acquaintance feed a live mouse to his pet boa constrictor, and I may finally be ready to discuss it with my therapist.Īs for Canada geese, let’s just say that my view of them is somewhere to the right of PETA’s. All others should only be seen in a zoo or an African safari. At least, the ones who meow, bark, or nest on a tree branch. But for a few moments the other morning, I did indeed almost take a Hitchcockian trip to meet my maker.īefore I give the blow-by-blow - or rather, honk-by-honk - account of my fight with a feathered foe, allow me a few comments. OK, that obituary did not appear in my local paper, even without the slightly less than factual biography. Richard Brown, beloved blogger, world-renowned raconteur and dashing man about town, was found dead on the lawn of his daughter’s workplace after being pecked to death by a Canada goose. I am posting it again because a friend went through her own unfortunate encounter with a fowl.) ![]() (I originally posted this eight years ago. Duck, Duck! Goose! My Near-Death Experience ![]() |